Let me set the scene, it was a dreary Wednesday evening, there was nothing I wanted to watch on TV, I had just finished my dinner after a day with my clients, and I turn to my phone. Roll forward an hour and I am deep into scrolling through reels on Instagram.
In my daze I become mesmerised by reels and become aware of the number of them showing a happy central figure saying/with text about how they are always “showing up as their best self,” or “is seeing the good in every day,” or “living my best life.”
Then there are others showing a person getting up at 4am to “make the most of everyday” or to “optimise their life.”
I finally left the vortex of doom scrolling and felt awful. I felt shame and guilt for spending so much time on my phone, but most of all I felt exhausted.
I logically know that Instagram is a platform where people (including myself) share only the best moments of their life, but I have heard this type of talk trickling into my friendship chats, my family meet ups and with clients. And I feel uncomfortable.
I don’t want the best version of people, because it feels dishonest.
Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it feels like everything is going wrong and you want to scream at the top of your lungs “why me!” And other days you might feel miserable and irritable over nothing, wanting to take this frustration out on anybody that crosses your path. Sometimes you feel happy and content. There are days when you have all these emotions in one day! And that is exhausting. But it’s human, and honest.
When did society look to always being happy? Or optimising everything? Is this the new societal goal? It feels so forced and unrealistic.
The clip of Steven Bartlett saying a glass of wine “ruined three days of his life,” still plays in my head. He talks about biometrics and how he tracks everything, analysing his performance daily. Does he ever live in the moment? Did he enjoy that glass of wine? What is tracking himself giving him? What would ‘good enough’ look like to him? I have so many questions.
I want the messy, complicated versions of people. The ones that don’t have it all figured out, because who does? I want to see people’s tears, anger, shame, embarrassment and everything in between, because that feels human. And I feel connected to that, because it’s authentic.
What would happen if we embraced just being ‘good enough’ and the messy, complicated reality of being human?
